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knightroar
06-24-2005, 10:30 AM
Soldier shaken by death of brother ends own life

By ELIZABETH OWENS
REGISTER STAFF WRITER
June 23, 2005
Distraught over his older brother's death in Iraq and his own deployment this fall to the war zone, Justin "Paul" Byers purposely stepped in front of a pickup truck Monday night, ending his own life, officials said.

About an hour before Sgt. Casey Byers' funeral began Wednesday morning, Crawford County's medical examiner said he had ruled Justin Byers' death a suicide.

Casey Byers, 22, who died June 11, will become the first Iowan killed in Iraq to be buried at Arlington National Cemetery outside Washington, D.C.

During Wednesday's funeral for Casey Byers in Denison, an Iowa Army National Guard official read a statement 19-year-old Justin had written about his brother.

"I will not lie to you - I was always fighting with my brother and we never got along. My mom said we fought so much because we were very much alike," wrote Justin, who could have avoided going into combat because of his brother's death.

Justin, whose family lives in Schleswig, wrote that he would not cry for Casey because he knew his older brother was proud of what he died for. But Justin Byers, who was the family's spokesman following his brother's death, expressed regret that he never got to say goodbye to Casey or apologize for all the fighting.

"Yes, Casey, I'm exactly like you," Justin wrote.

Rachel Weinstein, a bereavement specialist in San Jose, Calif., said people sometimes have suicidal thoughts after the loss of a loved one.

Weinstein said Justin Byers probably had not taken the time to absorb what had happened to his brother.

"When you're busy, you can delay the absorption of your own reaction," Weinstein said. "He was grieving in his own way, but in many ways, he was probably insulated from the enormity of it."

Justin Byers died Monday night after he was hit by a pickup truck one mile west of Vail on U.S. Highway 30.

No identification or other items were found on Justin's body, said Dr. Dennis Crabb, Crawford County's medical examiner. He also said no alcohol was found at the accident scene. A toxicology report was not yet available, he said.

Crabb said officials concluded that the death was suicide because of the circumstances at the scene and the way Justin had been acting. Crabb said interviews with people who knew Justin showed that the teenager was upset about his brother's death and his impending deployment to Iraq in the fall.

The Iowa State Patrol continues to investigate the incident, Trooper Chuck Downing said. Downing said he still was conducting interviews and had 30 days to complete the investigation. He said he was piecing together Justin Byers' activities leading up to the accident.

He emphasized that the suicide ruling was the medical examiner's conclusion.

An official with Justin Byers' Sioux City Army Reserve transportation company said the Byers brothers' situation was rare. "This is the first incident I've heard of where a brother is killed and another one is eligible," said Dan Tibbetts, unit administrator.

It had not been decided whether Justin Byers would be sent to Iraq, said Teresa Smith, a unit administrator with the U.S. Army Reserve in Sac City. Smith said Justin Byers would have fallen under the Army's regulation regarding a sole surviving son or daughter.

The policy states that if one or more family members have died as a result of serving in the U.S. armed forces, the surviving son or daughter can request a discharge. Smith said that Justin and his parents were notified about the policy, but had not acted on it.

Lt. Col. Gregory Hapgood, an Iowa National Guard spokesman, said two people are sent to the homes of families who lose loved ones in war. He said the families are offered counseling and other assistance. "Virtually every family has said yes" to the help, Hapgood said.

Weinstein, the San Jose bereavement specialist, said the way Justin Byers dealt with his brother's death was likely influenced by his role in the military.

"The way that our culture promotes men and the military is that they're good at what they do because they're not going to react emotionally," Weinstein said.

Funeral arrangements are pending for Justin Byers, who is survived by his parents, Ann and Bill Byers, and sister, Jen.

Register staff writer Lynn Campbell contributed to this article.

http://www.desmoinesregister.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050623/NEWS11/506230381

Lotimer
06-24-2005, 02:00 PM
This article is deserving of a BUMP!

Mr. Drags
06-24-2005, 02:03 PM
it's a sad tale for sure, there's more to the story though I'm sure. the young man had a lot more going on I bet than deployment and his own brother's death,

However, that being sad, what a piece of crap to do that to his own mother. She just lost one son, now he causes her to lose another.

zapcomix
06-24-2005, 02:07 PM
Soldier shaken by death of brother ends own life

By ELIZABETH OWENS
REGISTER STAFF WRITER
June 23, 2005

Distraught over his older brother's death in Iraq and his own deployment this fall to the war zone, Justin "Paul" Byers purposely stepped in front of a pickup truck Monday night, ending his own life, officials said...
That's really sad, some people just snap.

Lone Star
06-24-2005, 03:11 PM
This is a horrible tragedy.
A story about one of the Texas Rangers pitchers a few weeks ago was similar.
Not war related but the guy found out his mom died, and from the time he gets on the plane untill he gets home his brother commits suicide. so instead of one funeral he has to attend two and i beleive he was dismissed for the rest of the season.

Ive also heard stories of mothers (throughout the years) upon hearing their sons or husbands were killed in combat dropping dead on the spot!?
Horrible..

Bman
06-24-2005, 03:17 PM
This is a horrible tragedy.
A story about one of the Texas Rangers pitchers a few weeks ago was similar.
Not war related but the guy found out his mom died, and from the time he gets on the plane untill he gets home his brother commits suicide. so instead of one funeral he has to attend two and i beleive he was dismissed for the rest of the season.

Ive also heard stories of mothers (throughout the years) upon hearing their sons or husbands were killed in combat dropping dead on the spot!?
Horrible..



Aww yes.. W's War has effected plenty of lives, both on and off the battlefield

Lest we forget, anyone remember THIS ONE??





Father torches van after news of son's death
August 26, 2004


(CNN) -- After being informed that his 20-year-old son was killed while serving in Iraq, a Florida man doused a U.S. government van with gasoline and set it on fire while sitting inside.

Carlos Arredondo, 44, was severely burned and rushed to Hollywood Regional Hospital in Florida after learning that Pfc. Alexander Arredondo had died, police said.

"He suffered serious burns," said Detective Carlos Negron.

Negron said the young man was killed in Iraq Tuesday.

Melida Arredondo told CNN-affiliate WFOR, "My husband did not take the news well."

The events started around 2:15 p.m. when three Marine casualty officers arrived at the home to inform the Arredondo family of the death.

Arredondo went to his garage and came out carrying a propane tank, a gallon of gasoline and a welder's torch, police spokesman Tony Rode said.

The Marines tried to calm him, Rode said, but Arredondo smashed the window of their van, got inside and doused it with the gasoline.

Then he set it on fire.

"Unfortunately, the man was caught in the fire," a police statement said.

Video showed the van engulfed in flames.

The three Marines pulled the father from the burning van and had him "drop and roll," police said.

Arredondo was taken to a hospital and then to a burn center in Miami, Florida, with serious burns over much of his body.

"A bad situation turned ugly is what happened," Rode said.

"He's actually inside and, at one point, comes out of the vehicle pretty much on fire," Rode said. "He was burning on his arms, legs and hands."

The U.S. Marines had no immediate comment.

A call to the family's home was not immediately returned.



Find this article at:
http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/South/08/25/father.ablaze

Bman
02-02-2007, 01:38 PM
Lest we forget, anyone remember THIS ONE??





Father torches van after news of son's death
August 26, 2004


(CNN) -- After being informed that his 20-year-old son was killed while serving in Iraq, a Florida man doused a U.S. government van with gasoline and set it on fire while sitting inside.

Carlos Arredondo, 44, was severely burned and rushed to Hollywood Regional Hospital in Florida after learning that Pfc. Alexander Arredondo had died, police said.

"He suffered serious burns," said Detective Carlos Negron.

Negron said the young man was killed in Iraq Tuesday.

Melida Arredondo told CNN-affiliate WFOR, "My husband did not take the news well."

The events started around 2:15 p.m. when three Marine casualty officers arrived at the home to inform the Arredondo family of the death.

Arredondo went to his garage and came out carrying a propane tank, a gallon of gasoline and a welder's torch, police spokesman Tony Rode said.

The Marines tried to calm him, Rode said, but Arredondo smashed the window of their van, got inside and doused it with the gasoline.

Then he set it on fire.

"Unfortunately, the man was caught in the fire," a police statement said.

Video showed the van engulfed in flames.

The three Marines pulled the father from the burning van and had him "drop and roll," police said.

Arredondo was taken to a hospital and then to a burn center in Miami, Florida, with serious burns over much of his body.

"A bad situation turned ugly is what happened," Rode said.

"He's actually inside and, at one point, comes out of the vehicle pretty much on fire," Rode said. "He was burning on his arms, legs and hands."

The U.S. Marines had no immediate comment.

A call to the family's home was not immediately returned.



Find this article at:
http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/South/08/25/father.ablaze



UPDATE on Mr. ARRENDONDO:


A Father With a Coffin, Telling of War’s Grim Toll


By TRYMAINE LEE

Published: February 1, 2007


Carlos Arredondo leaned toward the coffin in the back of his pickup truck yesterday and renewed a promise to his dead son, one that he has kept for more than two years.

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2007/02/01/nyregion/01father450.1.jpg
Josh Haner/The New York Times
Carlos Arredondo, Wednesday in Times Square with a memorial to his son, a marine killed in Iraq.

In a whisper, he vowed never to let his son’s death be forgotten. He closed his eyes and slid his right hand across the American flag stretched over the coffin, his fingertips tumbling over each of its faded red stripes.

“This is my whole world,” he said, facing the truck, his arms open wide. “This is my burden.”

Mr. Arredondo, 46, stood on West 43rd Street in Times Square, shivering in the morning chill. His son, Lance Cpl. Alexander S. Arredondo, 20, was a marine killed in Iraq in 2004 while fighting in Najaf.

Passers-by slowed or stopped to view Mr. Arredondo’s mobile memorial: the coffin, filled with his son’s prized possessions, and the green Nissan truck, each side adorned with poster-size photos of the young marine. Some pictures show him smiling, his teeth bright white. Others show a machine-gun-toting warrior in battle gear. Another shows him lying dead at his funeral.

The display is sad, personal and emotionally jarring. But this is how Mr. Arredondo honors and mourns his son, who was a fire team leader in Battalion Landing Team 1/4, 11th Marine Expeditionary Unit (Special Operations Capable), First Marine Expeditionary Force. This is how Mr. Arredondo heals.

“As long as there are marines fighting and dying in Iraq, I’m going to share my mourning with the American people,” he said.

Mr. Arredondo, who lives in Boston, travels the country putting his sorrow on display. He accepts donations along the way. The coffin he takes with him holds some of his son’s things: a soccer ball, a pair of his favorite shoes, a Winnie the Pooh. He also shows people his son’s boots, uniform and dog tags.

Healing has been long and slow. First there was denial and self-destruction.

It all began on Aug. 25, 2004, Mr. Arredondo said, his 44th birthday. A government van eased in front of his home, then in Hollywood, Fla., and three Marine officers in dress blues stepped out.

At first Mr. Arredondo thought it was his son making a surprise birthday visit. Instead, the officers told him that his son had been killed in a hail of gunfire after being trapped in a four-story hotel that his platoon had been clearing. They were surrounded by enemy fighters. It was his son’s second tour of duty in Iraq.

“I just screamed,” he said. “I said ‘No, no! It can’t be my son.’ ”

Mr. Arredondo said he “lost it.” He ran to his garage and grabbed a gallon of gasoline and a propane torch.

He took a sledgehammer and smashed the government van’s windshield and hopped inside. As the officers tried to calm him, Mr. Arredondo doused himself and the van with gasoline and lit the torch.

There was an explosion, and the officers dragged Mr. Arredondo to safety. He suffered second- and third-degree burns over 20 percent of his body.

“I went to my son’s funeral on a stretcher,” he said.

After nearly 10 months of healing, including several in the hospital, Mr. Arredondo became a full-time war protester, quitting work as a handyman to remind people across the country of the human price of war.

His son was posthumously awarded a Purple Heart. But no commendation will fill the void he left behind, Mr. Arredondo said.

“Every day we have G.I.’s being killed, and people don’t really care enough or do enough to protest about how the war is going,” Mr. Arredondo said yesterday. “Some people say I’m dishonoring my son by doing this, but this is my pain, my loss.”


http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/01/nyregion/01father.html?em&ex=1170478800&en=5dcd2b9a9ea57e24&ei=5087%0A